Black Cat

“Ugh. It smells worse than the Rhino’s armpits in here,” Black Cat said, crinkling her nose in disgust as she stepped into a dark basement beneath a café on the campus of Empire State University.

Black Cat approached a large table at the center of the room where a group of students had gathered to play a role playing game. They all stared in disbelief at her statuesque figure as she approached a diminutive figure at the head of the table. His face was obscured in shadow by the brim of his ESU hat.

“After all I did for you, lady,” the small man said in a gruff voice, “you’ve got the nerve to come in here and insult my new pals right in the middle of our ‘Multiverse RPG’ campaign?”

“I had no idea I was walking into such a sacred event,” Black Cat said. “I just came to return what you gave me… Rocket…”

“Hey! The name’s Rocky!” Rocket snapped. “Rocky Raccardo!”

“Great alias,” Black Cat replied, rolling her eyes. “That’ll definitely fool everyone here into believing that you aren’t actually a talking space raccoon.”

As murmurs of confusion began to spread throughout the basement, Rocket leapt up and grabbed Black Cat by the wrist, dragging her into the stairwell just outside of the game room.

“Why ya gotta go and blow my cover, Cat?” Rocket asked, taking off his hat so that he could properly stare down his fellow thief. “I got a good thing goin’ here! None of the Guardians will play these kinda nerd games with me. You’d think Quill would, but even he’s too cool for this stuff!”

“Anyone would be too cool for this,” Black Cat scoffed.

“You say that now,” Rocket replied, “but if you were a Level 100 Chronal Crusader with +50 Armor of Eternity, you’d change your tune, toots.”

“I’ll take your word,” Black Cat said. “And here’s one thing that I’ll actually return…”

Black Cat reached into her satchel and pulled out a small high-tech device, handing it over to Rocket.

“My Nega-Energy Replicator!” Rocket exclaimed. “Umm… where’s the rest of it?”

“It may not have survived the mission in its original state, but it did get the job done,” Black Cat said. “I was able to switch out the actual Tablet of Life and Time with a forgery.”

“Just like when I used it to send Knull to the White Hot Room back on Klyntar!” Rocket said.

“You just said a lot of words, and I didn’t understand any of them,” Black Cat said.

“Well, here’s somethin’ you will understand,” Rocket snarled. “I trusted you with priceless technology, and you only brought back half of it. You owe me.”

Reaching into her satchel again, Black Cat produced another object. Rocket’s eyes instantly went wide.

“Will this make up for it?” Black Cat asked, already knowing the answer.

“Is that a genuine portable Arc Reactor?” Rocket said, carefully taking the disc-like device from Black Cat’s extended hand.

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Black Cat responded. “But I could tell it was important by the way it was secured in the Vault, so I swiped it. I assumed it might be something you’d be interested in. Think of it as my way of repaying you for your kindness.”

“Kindness, huh?” Rocket said, cautiously putting the object into the pocket of his oversized sweatshirt, “From what I hear, that ain’t exactly your specialty. You ain’t a part-time hero like me and Remy. You’re a full-time thief. So why the flark would you go through all the trouble to do the right thing?”

“I did it because I’m a full time thief,” Black Cat responded. “New York’s Thieves Guild was being run by a literal demon known as the Gilded Saint. And I wasn’t willing to be his pawn any longer. He may have promised his followers immortality, but eternal life seems a bit hollow if it’s spent in service to a monster. We should be setting our own course.”

“I like a fiercely independent woman!” Rocket said.

“Most men don’t,” Black Cat replied. “They would rather use my skills to fulfill their goals, then toss me aside after. I’m sure the Kingpin would have eventually done the same, despite the promises he made to me. Once I learned he was planning on delivering the Tablet of Life and Time to the Gilded Saint, I knew he couldn’t be trusted anymore. Whatever his motives were, they couldn’t be good.”

“And so you orchestrated an elaborate scheme with the help of Spidey and his pals to give Fisk exactly what he wanted,” Rocket said, “only to immediately take it away using my device? That’s cold.”

“Perhaps,” Black Cat said, “but it also worked like a charm. I delivered the Tablet to Fisk. He struck his deal with the Saint. New York was saved from the Time Plague spreading across Lower Manhattan. The heroes freed their allies from the Vault. Everybody won. Well, almost everyone.”

“Yeah, the Gilded Saint’s gotta be pretty furious with you,” Rocket said with a smirk. “What’d you get outta all this… other than puttin’ a target on your back?”

“Everything I could have wanted,” Black Cat responded. “The Kingpin granted me territory and immunity for following through with my end of the bargain. The heroes owe me a favor for helping them breach the prison. And whether they realize it or not, the Thieves Guild is indebted to me for keeping that kind of power out of the Gilded Saint’s bony hands. But all of that pales in comparison the sheer adrenaline rush of pulling off a perfect triple-cross and skillfully playing all three sides against each other.”

“So, where’s the real Tablet of Life and Time now?” Rocket asked, raising a fluffy eyebrow. “I’ve gotta imagine that every thief in the city is lookin’ for it… and for you… right about now.”

“Well, they won’t find it,” Black Cat said. “I delivered to someone who isn’t going to let go of it quite as easily as Strange did.”

“Please tell me it’s someone we trust,” Rocket said nervously, “like Reed Richards or Tony Stark or —”

“Victor von Doom,” Black Cat said.

“Doom?!” Rocket yelled. “Are you flarkin’ crazy, lady?! That maniac is the one who ripped reality to pieces in the first place. And as we’ve been jumpin’ between dimensions to clean up his mess, he’s just been makin’ things worse for us every step of the way! There’s no tellin’ what he could do with power like that!”

“That isn’t something I’m worried about,” Black Cat calmly replied.

“Why?” Rocket snarled. “Because he paid you a fortune in Latverian gold?”

“No,” Black Cat said. “Because my intuition told me he was the right person to give it to. And I always trust my gut.”

“Your gut may have just gotten us all killed!” Rocket said.

“I don’t think so,” Black Cat responded. “Unlike the Gilded Saint, I got the sense that Doom didn’t want the Tablet to satisfy his ambition or help him rule the universe. For him, it was about something deeply personal…”

“It’s gonna be deeply personal for all of us when that iron-clad idiot makes us his slaves!” Rocket said.

“That’s the thing, though,” Black Cat replied. “In exchange for the Tablet, Doom freed the members of the Thieves Guild from their pact with the Gilded Saint. He prevented them from becoming enslaved for all eternity.”

“Huh. That does seem outta character for him…” Rocket said, pondering the villain’s true motivation. “But after all of this, how do I even know if I can trust you? How do I know this ain’t some kinda… quadruple-cross?”

“You don’t,” Black Cat said. “But that makes all of this more fun, doesn’t it?”

“Right… Fun…” Rocket grumbled, “Speakin’ of which, I got a game to finish. Good luck out there, Cat. Got a feelin’ you’re gonna need it.”

“Then it’s a good thing I have plenty to spare,” Black Cat said, giving Rocket a playful wink.

“Mind sharin’ some of it?” Rocket asked. “I could use to roll a few 20s.”

“The least I could do,” Black Cat responded, leaning down and giving Rocket a kiss on his forehead.

Flustered, Rocket put on his hat and retreated back into the darkness of the underground gaming club. Black Cat made her exit as well, emerging into an alleyway behind the café. But it only took her a split second to realize that she wasn’t alone.

“You can come out from the shadows,” Black Cat demanded. “I know you’re here.”

At the Black Cat’s command, Odessa Drake — a high-ranking member of the New York Thieves Guild — stepped into the light.

“Did the Gilded Saint send you to take me out?” Black Cat asked, raising her claws in anticipation of the fight ahead.

“Quite the opposite,” Odessa replied. “There are those of us in the Thieves Guild who appreciate what you did. You liberated us from the Saint's servitude and secured a massive amount of territory where our activities won’t be punished.”

“I am quite amazing, I’ll admit,” Black Cat responded, lowering her claws. “But I’m almost positive you didn’t track me down to smother me with praise. So what is it that you want?”

“We want you to become our new Guildmaster, Felicia,” Odessa replied. “We want the Black Cat to lead New York’s Thieves Guild into a new era.”

“That… is not what I was expecting,” Black Cat responded, her lips curling into a smile. “Today, must be my lucky day..”